“I shielded the children with my body, and prayed that, if a bomb hits us, we all die, so my children are not left on their own.” Nadiya* wipes her tears.

Nadiya, a mother from Mariupol, speaks of the worst time her family has been through.

“I have three children: seven-year-old Anna*, 12-year-old Mykola*, and 29-year-old Ihor*. Ihor is a border patrolman, so we don’t see him often. He is on leave now. Mykola and Anna are glued to him.” Nadiya smiles.

“We had a normal life in Mariupol. Mykola was in school, Anna in kindergarten, my husband and I worked.

“We wanted to leave when the war started. That first night, we heard explosions, people started to run away. But the roads were closed. They were all exposed and in shooting range. Soon after that, the Russians entered. Oh, that hell… the fighting…

“Our apartment was shelled. We went to the basement. The neighbours asked me in the hallway: ‘Did you not take anything?’ I only had a bag with our documents because I knew we can’t go further without them. The only clothes were what we were wearing.

“As each bomb falls, you are afraid the next one will fall on you.

“I didn’t think about much except survival. I couldn’t think about anything except that the children are alive and we are alive.

“The electricity and gas went out in the first hour. We had no connections. My husband wanted us to go to the basement. I was scared we would be buried alive. I said that it’s better to stay in the yard.

Searching for survival under rocket fire

“It was 8 March, I realised we can’t stay out in the open, so we went to the basement. That very night, a Grad rocket launcher was fired on our neighbourhood. Half of our building, including our apartment, was destroyed.

“We remained in the basement. It was terrible. We had no food. Then, Russian soldiers appeared and said that we could go out if we wanted… despite the bombs, despite the shooting because they have orders to kill us all. To kill us, the peaceful population…

“When I tell people about this, no one believes me. ‘It couldn’t have been like that’ they say. But it was like that. One Russian solider said ‘We have orders to kill you. Now we give you little time. Go!”

“We left the city on foot and under rocket fire.

“As we walked, we saw killed people, burned vehicles. It was horrible! So many dead people in cars.

“I put my hands on my children’s eyes, so they wouldn’t see all this. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hide everything.

Finding a safe haven

“We went all the way to the end of Mariupol to a checkpoint. Towards Russia, the roads were open, and the double-decker buses were ready. Towards our side there was nothing. Thank God, we got to Berdiansk and waited for a humanitarian crossing to open.

“I cried so much when we reached Zaporizhzhia. I cry each time I remember. When we got out of the occupied territory, and met our soldiers, I cried, I wanted to hug them.

“Once we crossed into Zaporizhzhia, I immediately felt different – I felt free. There was no shooting in Berdiansk, but I had a feeling as if something is pressing on me, suffocating me. I talk with everyone who came from occupied territories if they felt this difference – what it was like there and what it is like when you are on your own territory. It is as if you came from a dead city.

“When the bombs fell on us, I prayed they’d fall two at once. I shielded the children with my body, and prayed that, if a bomb hits us, we all die, so my children are not left on their own.

“Now, my younger children are only with me. Once we got to Kyiv, my husband left the country. He is not a citizen of Ukraine. We have divorced since.

“We settled here but knew no one. Then I stumbled on a group for internally displaced people. And that’s how I learned about SOS Children’s Villages and how I met my family advisor, Larysa*.

“At first, I didn’t have high expectations. I thought maybe we’d get some humanitarian aid. Instead, all employees of this programme in Kyiv became like our family. And my children feel that strongly.

“Anna shut within herself and was very jumpy and nervous. Since we started coming to SOS Children’s Villages, she’s more relaxed and she’s talking more openly. She keeps asking me when we get to go to SOS Children’s Villages again. She’s better, but she is still very scared of loud sounds.

“Mykola and I began seeing the psychologist together. After everything we’ve been through, he now sees himself as the man of the family and the one responsible to help me. He’s scared and traumatised too, but doesn’t want to show it.

“My children have individual and group classes in the programmes at SOS Children’s Villages. They feel very comfortable and relaxed here.

“A child feels when a person supports them, when they are treated well, and then they ask for more such support.

“Even I often call Larysa or the other employees of SOS Children’s Villages. They make me feel that we’re not on our own, that we have friends. I feel supported as a parent, I have someone to consult, to give me advice. That’s very important to me.

Rebuilding as a family

“I dedicate a lot of my time to my two younger children now. I had hard time finding a job because of the busy schedules of my children. Anna started school here in Kyiv and she sees a speech therapist a few times a week.

“Mykola is bit more independent, but Kyiv is also still new to him.

“My eldest, Ihor, is our main support. He sends us money and tells me to devote all my time now to Anna and Mykola.” Nadiya tears up.

“When Ihor is at his post, we speak often. If I don’t hear from him in few days, I get restless. I try to hide it, but Anna and Mykola sense it, and get upset too.

“Anna and Mykola and I are so very worried about Ihor. He’s stationed near the front-line and doesn’t take much leave. We saw him last year for few days, and then only now.

“Of course, Ihor is a hero to Anna and Mykola. I don’t know how he’s resting now when the two of them are always next to him.” Nadiya smiles.

“They follow him around, hold his hand, talk to him ‘Ihor this, Ihor that’ all day long. They have such deep love and respect for their big brother.” Nadiya sighs.

“I try hard to shield my children from the horrible situation. You could say I still try to close their eyes with my hands.

“They know this is not a story, this is not a film. But I’m calmer that we have a bright spot in SOS Children’s Villages, someone to listen to us, to hear about our troubles, and to help us.”

*All names are changed to protect the privacy of the family