India: Winning a teenager's heart

Taking on the responsibility of a family as the successor of an SOS mother who had just retired, SOS mother Jayalakshmi faced unusual resistance from a teenage girl entrusted to her care.

SOS mother Jayalakshmi, who is originally from Vishakhapatnam in southern India, willingly took on the responsibility to look after a family at the SOS Children's Village Greenfields, Delhi. However, she was very apprehensive at the beginning. Would she be a good SOS mother in the Northern Region in Faridabad, which was culturally different from the South? Would she be able to care for a family with both older and younger children, where an SOS mother had just retired after so many years?

SOS mother Jayalakshmi (Jaya) is a caring SOS mother to 14 lovely children and has already seen four of her older children get married. Today she cares for four adolescents. She told us how she was finally accepted by one of those teenagers, Sudha, whose SOS mother had retired and moved away. Sudha hadn't got over the fact that her SOS mother had left. She felt that SOS mother Jaya had taken the place of her former SOS mother. She had been emotionally attached to her and had had a very close relationship with her. The presence of a new SOS mother made her angry and she refused to see her new SOS mother as part of the family. She did not allow Jaya to use any of her SOS mother's belongings and firmly told her not to touch the things which she believed just belonged to her former SOS mother. SOS mother Jaya did not know what to think or do. Sudha did not allow other brothers and sisters to freely interact with their new SOS mother either. She told Jaya that she would not allow her to stay and continue working as an SOS mother in the family.

But SOS mother Jaya remained patient. Despite the fact that she was rejected from the start, she held on to her courage and did not take it as an insult from the girl, who was already quite old. Jaya tried to understand the feelings of Sudha and why she was behaving in such a way. With consistent effort and patience, Jaya was gradually accepted by Sudha. Sudha unfortunately fell very ill one summer. SOS mother Jaya cared for her with affection. She was sensitive towards her likes and dislikes, so Sudha developed feelings for SOS mother Jaya and she cooperated whenever Jaya wanted her to. The week after Sudha had recovered, it was Mothers' Day. It was early in the morning and SOS mother Jaya had just finished her daily prayer. She was then met with a pleasant surprise. All her children surrounded her with flowers and gifts and they were led by Sudha. "It was a moment I'll never forget," said SOS mother Jaya, her voice choking with emotion.

SOS mother Jaya feels it is the values she learned from her parents that have helped her to be accepted by the children. "The most important quality that I have learnt from my parents is how to be patient and tolerant. My parents would explain the advantages and disadvantages of everything we do," Jaya says. "I never told the children off and I allowed them to do what interested them. There have been situations when I felt I would not be able to cope with older children, and I considered leaving, but the shift in my older daughter's behaviour from being negative to positive has helped me regain my confidence in being an SOS mother." "I regularly dance and play with my children. I am very satisfied and my parents are also happy with my family. Every time I go home I take one younger child and one older child with me, and this is how the bond strengthens and we become a closely-knit family."