Interview from Visakhapatnam, India with SOS Mother

Subhashini Aadinarayanamurthi has been working as an SOS mother at SOS Children's Village Visakhapatnam in India for 14 years. She is a committed and joyous lady who can never be resentful. In this interview, she talks about her own motherhood, her wishes for other mothers, and Mother's Day.

How many children are living with you?
I've got fourteen children here, six boys and eight girls.

How would you describe your task as an SOS mother?
I would say that the SOS mother is the soul of the SOS Children's Village. She cares for between nine and twelve children, lives together with them in their own house, and she decides herself, what to plant in the garden. She cooks for the children, buys clothes and gets them ready for school, just like any other mother or father would.

What was the most special and beautiful moment you ever experienced as an SOS mother?
That was to see that my way of bringing up my children leads to positive results. It has always made me feel very proud and happy to watch them grow up, do well in their studies, complete their professional courses in various disciplines (e.g. technical engineering, physical education, nursing, computer sciences) and successfully enter into the working world.

There were, of course, difficult times as well. But I cannot forget about the continuous support and guidance by our village director and by other colleagues.

Another special moment to me was to be on a flight while escorting a child to Hyderabad.

My experience also gave me lots of ideas and strength in guiding and bringing up other children the right way, as I can always refer to the 'models', my grown-up children who are all well educated, fully matured in their understanding, and I can rest assured that they can stand on their own feet for their rest of the lives.

What special thing do you think you can give the children to help them on their way?
I think the fact that I can always laugh is a talent. Another of my strengths is that I'm committed to my children and spend a lot of time on their education, because I would like them to do well in life. I can motivate them to study. It gives me strength when I see that the children are doing well at school. I'm also not hurtful to other people. If somebody shouts at me, I try to answer in a friendly manner and to clear up the misunderstanding.

What do you wish for the girls and the boys?

I would like to be sure that all my children have jobs and are earning money before I retire. I'd like my sons and my daughters to have a solid basis in life before they marry. If they find a person with whom they'd like to live, I'd neither be against a love marriage nor a caste marriage.

What is your wish for all the mothers in the world?
I wish that all mothers in the world would become aware of the changing conditions the younger generations are faced with. This would mean a leap forward to their children's growth and development. This is the computer age, I feel that we must be open to the needs of the children and help them understand the realities of life.

I also wish that all mothers would take their time with a positive approach towards decision-making when there are any problems with children. This would help the mothers to tackle such issues in an understanding way.

And I suggest that mothers should find more time to interact with their children. This would enable the children to understand their mother's feelings better, and to open up and feel more comfortable sharing their personal problems with their mothers.

How do you celebrate Mothers Day at the SOS Children's Village with your SOS children?
Early in the month of May, all my children start thinking and discussing how to celebrate Mother's Day. First of all, they discuss what gifts to prepare. On 9 May, they sit together and prepare greeting cards, girls put Mehandi (beautification of women's hands with painted signs and symbols) on my hands, bring different flowers, purchase bangles (inflexible bracelets), pack gifts, sometimes purchase saree, etc.

On 10 May, Mother's Day proper, all my children wake up very early by 5am in the morning. They surprise me by closing my eyes and placing gifts on my hand and asking me to open them with a smile. On that day they prevent me from entering the kitchen and do all household chores. They decorate the house with colourful paper, flowers, etc. All children perform puja (worship) and request the Almighty God to always keep the mother happy and give her lots of strength. Children prepare a variety of sweets and a special meal at home. All the SOS mothers go out together for having lunch at a hotel and possibly watching a movie or visiting a temple.

While returning from their outing, all mothers bring home sweets and snacks for their children. In general, all mothers gather at the village for a small function where all children, including male youth and co-workers are present. During this function, all mothers are felicitated by their children and the village director through gifts and greetings.